Got a call from the local radio station last Tuesday evening, for whom I read the news and do the occasional interview. They were a muse short for the coming Friday’s segment, and suggested I hook up with the CEO of a local charity organisation.

‘What’s the occasion?’ I asked.

The radio rep sounded confused. ‘What do you mean?’

‘What are they doing at the moment? Why am I interviewing him?’

Nothing, as it turned out. They just needed some filler. Nothing like churning out filler to stimulate the senses. Balls to that.

The local rag that day featured a local author releasing her second book, while her first was being adapted into a feature film. As far as interviewability goes, ‘writer slagging off at movie industry’ trumps ‘good Samaritan’ anyday.

I had her personal number in minutes (God bless the ignorant trust of country folk). She sounded pleasant, enthusiastic, and kind of hot. Not that these things should influence a journalist, but I take the perks when I can.

Next on the list: research. How does one go about prepping for an interview with an author? Read the book you say? I’m broke off my ass, the new book hadn’t hit library shelves yet, and it was less than 24 hours till the interview. I was just gonna have to wing it.

However the ensuing cyberspace info gleaning session (part of my regular interview prep routine, and everyone else’s I assume) left an unexplained sense of uneasiness in the bowels. Mental projections of the unread book started haunting my conscience. What the hell was wrong with me?

Conflicted and confused, I called my journo-in-distress hotline. After a few comprising questions, I was diagnosed as suffering from ‘integrity deficiency’, a common industry affliction, and was sternly advised to ‘man the fuck up’. A mother always knows best.

Hell, if John Safran appear on First Tuesday Book Club*, then I can do it on community radio.

I thought turning up to the interview without a copy of the new book was a dead giveaway, but it turns out I was a prissy bitch, fretting over milk that hadn’t even spilt yet; I winged it like a champion, flanked the specifics and alluded to the book’s broader themes, before making some insightful commentary on the craft (ripped directly from Stephen King's 'On writing', which I was reading at the time).

We covered getting published, pre-production of the film, and even found scope for some flirtatious back-and-forth as I attempted to pry out the identity of an established Australian actress locked in for the lead role.

Listener feedback said it was an interesting, insightful interview. Not bad, considering I started off expecting her to pull the interview half way through with a kick to the groin for wasting her time.

But the experience itself aroused an appreciation of morning presenters who tackle new issues on a daily basis; familiarizing themselves with foreign territory between a pre-dawn coffee and going to air only a few hours later. And even if their years of knowledge accumulated in the field is inadequate to handle a niche topical curveball thrown their way, an experienced presenter can still carry the segment with authority.

Take the ABC’s Tony Eastley. An RSPCA press release lands on his desk: duck molestation in the area has spiked in the last quarter. Now while Tony’s decades of news gathering experience were comprehensive, I would hope that duck rodgering is one area still foreign to him. Never-the-less, he’d have a bird counsellor  scrambled via telephone for an immediate on-air probing, and be all over that scoop with the apparent expertise of  a seasoned poultry penetrator.

Respect.

Out of your depth in short notice? Can’t walk the walk? Take a leaf from the pros and resurrect those seasoned high school fronting skills; talk the talk.

Photo by Flick user Micky. Used under Creative Commons license.

*in the likely occurrence that you couldn’t be assed watching this clip: Safran appeared on the ABC’s First Tuesday Book Club without reading the prescribed text. His net contribution to the eight minute segment was that the book was ‘educational and you learn stuff’.  He also called Marieke Hardy a communist.