Release: June 24

Length: Too long

Rating: PG (Mild sexual references and coarse language)

Unlike its tagline: ‘Some guys need a little time to mature’, Grown Ups need more than just time to save it from putting everyone to sleep.

The film seems more like a mild version of those moral tales we all heard as kids; you know, the ones where Dad would say – “When I was your age I’d see a rope hanging from a tree and next thing you know I'd have accidently hanged myself.....so never go hear the rope.” etc.

In this Dennis "Synonymous With Quality" Dugan feature, Adam Sandler plays Lenny Feder, an ex-basketball player turned successful Hollywood agent who reunited with his childhood buddies at their coach’s funeral. The rest of the basketball team comprises cast-offs from Saturday Night Live – Eric "Babbay" Lamonsoff (Kevin James), Kurt McKenzie (Chris Rock), Marcus "Dickie" Higgins (David Spade) and Rob (touchingly played by Rob Schneider).

After the funeral, the five families choose to spend the whole Fourth of July weekend holiday together as they reminisce on the old times and re-connect each other. Enthrallingly, the five men sit around the lounge around doing nothing much at all, while the kids hide inside with their gadgets until their fathers drag them outside to play. See the irony? The women are basically kept in the background, until young men enter the scene partially undressed. Strangely, with little (or close-to) no lines besides the pre-requisite introductions, these girls are featured frequently being ogled at by the men at every possible chance (ironically, this dramatically lifts the intelligence level of the film).

Although this film features men who are presumed to be comedians, perplexingly they aren't funny or original - how many times can one tell the stereotypical ‘fat mama’ joke before it ceases to be funny*? Clearly, the producers believe that getting "funny" people together will result in a funny film. Grown Ups blows this theory out of the water. The last time an ensemble cast this bad was assembled the film title included the words Cannonball and Run.

What Grown Ups needs is a general direction as it seems to confuse itself – is it really a comedy or a Disney-esque vehicle with sugary sweet happy endings where all’s well that ends well? The film is rated PG suggesting it's aimed at some kind of family audience, but what parent would be stupid enough to take their kids to see this?

I suggest you just head back home and watch re-runs of Reign Over Me; that’s a better way to spend your time. That or sticking your head in the oven and setting the knob to "broil".

*Seven times.

FAIL.